hell yes lets make some ravioli
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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