In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
