it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
