she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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