you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
