Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
