Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
