Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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