She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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