i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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