Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
