I'm really into asian looking animals
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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