i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize