I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
