I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my shit smells like andre
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
