We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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