How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
