I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have already put on my inside pants.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
