addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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