I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
