yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
babies were throwing up all over the place
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
