Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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