i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
