HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just cut my nipple shaving
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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