If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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