i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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