What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
