drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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