If that was your dad, he is hot
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
