You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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