Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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