So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
