My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
