Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
