Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
