Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
