hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
