i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
