I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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