My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
