Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's the barista slut.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
