Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
