Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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