i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
