3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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