ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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