You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
