It's just like the Real World with babies
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
