Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
