D3 body, D1 cock
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
