used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
